Foundation

“Why are you so polite with me, always saying ‘Yes, sir,’ and ‘That’s right, sir,’ but never doing a thing I tell you? These words I speak to you are not mere additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundation words, words to build a life on.
“If you work the words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who dug deep and laid the foundation of his house on bedrock. When the river burst its banks and crashed against the house, nothing could shake it; it was built to last. But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don’t work them into your life, you are like a dumb carpenter who built a house but skipped the foundation. When the swollen river came crashing in, it collapsed like a house of cards. It was a total loss.”

Luke 6:46-49, The Message

 

Like I said, this album was written back in 2014. As some of you may know, that year I was doing Impart. For those of you that aren't aware, Impart is a one year course that is part Bible college, part young adult leadership training, part intensive community, and part spiritual formation. It was incredible and awesome and fantastic and life-changing, but also incredibly challenging. In reality, this is actually the Impart album - it's putting everything that I learned from that year into song. 

We had these intensives that we went on throughout the year. The first of those was Summer School. And, because they liked to grow and stretch us, they thought they'd spring on us a little excursion, to test our fears. That excursion was paintball. Disclaimer: I had never been to paintball before, and never wanted to. I found no joy in hurting others, nor in being hurt. But, I figured, I was in it now, may as well try to enjoy it. So I got into the gear, got the briefing, headed out on to the field. I was keeping pretty well in cover - but it wasn't too long before I got shot, in the hip, I believe. Sorry to those who quite enjoy paintball and find it easy - but to me, it felt like someone had put the Cruciatus curse on me. I held out as best as I could for the rest of the game - running on automatic, just trying not to get hit again. Then, finally, it ended. I managed to get over to where they called us to - but after I sat down, I started shaking uncontrollably. I started crying, my nose was running a bit, I could barely speak. I was an absolute mess. Thankfully, I had some great people there who took great care of me. I didn't really know what was going on, but I heard words like 'panic attack' getting used.

At the time, I wasn't able to make sense of much of what was happening. But I did know that this was exactly the sort of thing that I had feared - I had a fear of pain, and so I tended to bubble-wrap myself. That fear was being tested. Because again, this wasn't how God wanted me to live. He didn't want me to live bound and beholden to my fears. Rather, he wanted me to live trusting in him, and remembering that he is bigger and stronger than any fear I may have. Jesus uses a parable where he talks about two men who build their houses on two very different foundations - but only the one who built their house on the rock had their house left standing when the storm came. What is your foundation in life? Because if it's not God, then it will fail. The only question is when.


I’m a mess
Shaking, quaking
In my white running shoes
Can’t move, can’t talk
Got no control
Just crying out, got nothing left to lose

But this test of fear
Is not to bring me down
But to bring You near
And build me up

Cause You are my foundation
And when I get knocked down
It is You that stays standing
You are my solid ground
Through all my desperation
You hold on to me
Even when I have nothing
You have been there
For You are my foundation

I’m alone
Reading, sitting
On a train headed home
It’s been a long time
Since I’ve been here
Not sure how far I can roam

But no-one being here
Is not to bring me down
But to bring You near
And build me up

Cause You are my foundation
And when I get knocked down
It is You that stays standing
You are my solid ground
Through all my desperation
You hold on to me
Even when I have nothing
You have been there
For You are my foundation

For the less there is of me
The more that I can see
Of what God is doing
And the more I see of Him
The more I know
That He loves me

Cause You are my foundation
And when I get knocked down
It is You that stays standing
You are my solid ground
Through all my desperation
You hold on to me
Even when I have nothing
You have been there
For You are my foundation